Paradox

Am supposed to see the light of the day now
but I feel like in darkness
Am supposed to be full of life now
but the death does hunt me.

Am supposed to be joy and praise now
for the things am having
but those things are just the blindfold
that eclipses what shines on me

Its paradoxic, its like toxic
its vaniity and its irony
Am having it all
but loosing even more

Should I pay this stupid price?

What am I winning?
Who compensates me?
Should I build my dream of gold?
and let it all go,
leave my very God
for the heels of something wrong?

Where should I go now?
Can I escape so
I can get back what I need
I'd gladly exchange it
if I can take back
i can't be happy without this.