Father

This in no way means to do a portrait of what my father is now. It is more focused on being like a mental picture of what I sensed and lived in those days. He and I have changed enough, so let this remain as a chapter of my past, that am being able to publish, maybe as a good sign of healing in the spirit.

It took me my whole life to write this song
It'll take another to vanish it at all
and I wish i wouldn't see you anymore
but you are in every mirror that i know
I still remember you blaming me faults
the gift, the blame, the game, goes on and on
you gave me food and shelter, and soul beats
you taught me how to love with burden and hits

I am never gonna treasure what I wanted
to hold your hands, and hear I made you prouder
and now I hate myself for hating you
you hate me, and you never loved me too

And I remember everty time you hit my brothers
and I remember the times you called bitch my mother
remember blaming me for cheating on you women?
do you remember that man?
do you remember?

But I cant judge you
but I can't take revenge
and is wrong to hurt you
cause you are my blood,
so thats something insane

But partner... do you kno what really hurts the most?
that I cant love you...father...

it took me my whole life to write this song
to realize your acting deeds were wrong
to understand we were the victims
and 15 lifes won't be enough to heal

I still remember you throwing my stuff
I still believe am useless at all
am petrified of looking on my fate
am afraid of doing what you taught me well
am never gonna get what i want
my inner heart is so rotten inside
and everytime that it takes my toughts
I realize I became just what you foretold

and I remember every time you call me stupid
you said that my writting way is vomit
do you remember when you said you meant us to be friends
after rejecting me man...do you remember?

But I cant judge you
but I can't take revenge
and is wrong to hurt you
cause you are my blood,
So thats something insane

But partner... do you kno what really hurts the most?
that I cant love you... father...